Singing Telegram? Or Tasteful Serenade?

A Singing Telegram?  Isn't that when someone dresses up in a silly costume, runs up to a designated person, sings "Happy Birthday" (or something else), and does something embarrassing for the fun of it?

Do they still do that?

Singing telegrams have been around since 1933. Per Wikipedia, they were first delivered by Western Union, as an attempt to make telegrams more popular and fun than the standard topics of urgent news: (like "Your uncle died. Stop. Funeral in 2 weeks. Stop...." - you get the idea). Telegrams were delivered in person. When telephones became a standard household service in the 1960s, in person telegrams fell off because people could call to talk to each other directly.

Western Union suspended its singing telegram services about 1974, but independent companies continued to provide them.  The practice is still very much alive today.  

So, what is a singing telegram?  People often imagine sending someone dressed up in costume to outrageously embarrasses their intended recipient.  The Wikepedia article I mentioned shows a great video example of a day in the life of a singing telegram artist.  Sometimes, a gifter only imagines sending a unique gift as a special musical surprise but can't picture it beyond that initial idea.

A Google search brings a variety of options to consider.  You might find costumed bunnies, clowns, impersonators, dancers, strippers, and licensed characters (like Mickey Mouse or Big Bird).  There are a few alternatives if you put a keyword in for "serenade".

Before investing in such a gift or experience, let's think about how we want our intended recipient to feel.

Pin down the motives! Once we have a clear understanding of what kind of message we want to convey, it will be easier to find the perfect provider.  Let's dissect those potential motive components before considering a commitment.

• Is it the "Happy Birthday" song we are looking for?  I think anyone can sing "Happy Birthday". Whether on or off key, shyly or boldly, the song itself is well-known enough in most circles (at least in the USA - and even sung in a few different languages).  You could ask a friend to do that as a favor, or even show up and sing "Happy Birthday" yourself without investing a lot of money in the process.  It would still be a surprise if the birthday girl / boy wasn't expecting someone at that moment, and maybe even a little touching!   It might be funny if we showed up in our own costume, pretending to be a paid provider, and when the mask comes off, VOILA!  There we are.

• Is it "embarrassing" we are after?  There is a component of embarrassment in any surprise.  When we are surprised unexpectedly, we may be in the middle of something else, not dressed appropriately, not be wide awake, be in a public place when we're not into "P D A" (Public Displays of Affection).  We could be amongst those we would be uncomfortable showcasing our embarrassment or emotions (like co-workers or the congregation at our church).  There is also a little bit of difference between reactionary embarrassment in the unexpected situation and being intentionally embarrassed.

• Is it "fun" (or funny) we want?  What is the definition of "fun"?   Daring (jumping out of airplanes, laying down on railroad tracks, drag racing, bungy jumping)?   Competitive (sports, card games, outdoing each other)?   Messy (splashing in the pool, building sandcastles, painting, food fights)?  Joking around (poking fun, comedy, tickling)?  Just enjoying time with someone (laughing together, movies, dinner out, roller skating)?  Some people are jokesters, and their potential recipients have a certain sense of humor that doesn't mind being joked with. Not everyone takes those jokes well or wants to be the brunt of them.  

• Is a costume necessary?  Costumed characters can be fun and funny, sweet, or embarrassing, even scary.  If you're entertaining a little kid, they might be thrilled to see their favorite cartoon character at the door but scared to see a clown.  An adult might respond nicely to a look-alike impersonator of their favorite actor / actress / singer.  Trying to be romantic or sexy lends a different kind of dimension. (Do we want someone else to do that?)

• Are we setting the mood for something to come?  What's the occasion?  Are we celebrating the other person for an anniversary, birthday, retirement, cheer up, appreciation, marriage proposal, on the spot wedding?   Are we looking to "wow", impress, or give the recipient a send-off to remember?  Perhaps we want to solidify our relationships with a little extra love or honor a couple who's made it through 50 years of marriage ups and downs.  Our gift may be at the beginning of a party, to start the day, or one of a series of special surprises.

• Are we looking for "tasteful" solutions?  This question considers many of the above previous components.  The definitions of "tasteful" include "in good taste", "restrained", "elegant", "aesthetic judgement".  Some synonyms include the words beautiful, charming, classy, delicate, exquisite, graceful, handsome, pleasing, plush, restrained, stylish, subdued.  There are a lot of variations.  I think the purposeful embarrassing fun doesn't fit here, but costumes could fit (ballgowns, tuxedos, butlers, princesses, special attire) depending on how it's done. "Funny" could be a "clever" play on words or song lyrics, which draws a laugh, but the joke is not directed at anyone.

You might wonder why I am writing about this. Though it's not the only service I offer as a vocalist - musician and songwriter, over the last 15 years I have built a great reputation for professionally providing and implementing such surprises.  (The photo above was taken by a client, showing me with my guitar and music on music stand, giving a "socially distanced" singing telegram - I call it "serenade" - to a couple.  Their daughter hired me during our Covid pandemic to help them celebrate their anniversary and birthday.  I stood an appropriate distance away on the grass, while the couple sang along and danced from their porch!)

If you are wondering how someone gets into the business of providing singing telegrams or serenades, that would be an entirely different blog, or seminar, or empowerment session.  Here's a little background on how it happened for me:

First of all, I never intended to be a "singing telegram" artist.  It occurred organically, as a result of various other circumstances. One of the earliest situations occurred when I needed a creative solution.  At the time, I was a "down-and-out" musician, just getting started, with no money to spare.   A dear friend of mine was readying to have her second child.  I was invited to the baby shower.  Not in the position to purchase a traditional gift, I wrote my friend a song, hand-penned the lyrics and melody in simple music notation on paper.  On the day of the baby shower, I brought my guitar and presented the song-gift in person.  Then I gave her my hand-notated sheet music as a keepsake.  Back then we didn't have cell phones and tablets to spontaneously videotape our experiences.  There were movie cameras, but I doubt anyone documented that occasion.

It took me many years to start publishing any of my original material, but I finally released my first album, "Renewed", in 2007.  Wanting to include "Child of Lil's" (the song I wrote for my friend), I felt compelled to reconnect with her and ask if she minded.  We'd been separated for many years on different life paths, through travels and various moves, but I was able to find her again, thanks to social media.  We had a great conversation.  The original "new baby" (subject of the song) was all grown up and starting a family of his own! My friend told me she'd recently found the original hand-written notation I'd given her at the top of a box.  She had been thinking and wondering about me before we reconnected.   Apparently, the song was meaningful enough for her to hang on to it!   (Yes, she gave me permission to publish the song.)  If you want to listen to the recorded version, I accompanied myself on piano instead of guitar.  Click here to listen (link will take you to my YouTube channel or find "Child of Lil's" on "Renewed" wherever you stream).

There was a hiatus from my music career for a time. I worked a "traditional" job but was occasionally called upon to present musical "gifts" to co-workers on their retirements, promotions, engagements, birthdays, and other special occasions (or I offered).  I'd say, "I can do that"!  

I eventually returned to my life-long music passion, and have served many clients with singing telegram / serenade performances!   I prefer using the word "Serenade" because I don't dress up in costumes, or purposely try to embarrass anyone.  I go for heartfelt, meaningful, tasteful, (even clever) ways to honor recipients, while clearly conveying the gifter's sentiments.

If we can imagine something but don't know exactly where to go from there, the right provider can assist us in creating that "Wow", and loved feeling, for your loved one.  I say let's strive for unforgettable moments.

Consider these scenarios where tasteful solutions (or serenades) are better than traditional "embarrassing in the name of fun" singing telegrams:

• We can't be present in-person to celebrate an important milestone (birthday, anniversary, graduation, etc.)
• The event will take place in a public venue that calls for a little more discretion
• We are sending a gift to cheer someone up in a warm-fuzzy way
• The person we care about is recovering from a significant illness
• We want our loved-one to remember some special times we spent together
• We hope that person will forgive us for something that happened - (or take us back?!)

Collaborate with your provider:

• Speak up about what you envision
• Offer details about your story and what connects you to the recipient
• Provide information about your favorite music (genres, songs, artists)
• Ask if song lyrics for the songs you choose might be customized or personalized
• Discuss chronology of events to help weave together a life story with music
• Consider a music theme

Other tips for success:

• Start planning a few weeks ahead. Yes, often singing telegrams and serenades are last-minute scrambles or afterthoughts. Good musicians / vocalists stay booked! Though they may be available at the last minute, there are no guarantees you'll get exactly what you envision if you wait. For instance, if you have a specific song request, but the available provider doesn't know that song (or doesn't have time to learn it) will you accept an alternative? If you want your provider to arrive at 8am, but they are not available until 10am, will that work out? The more time allowed to plan, the more solid our plan will be.  If you must book a last-minute service, be flexible.  Allow your provider to guide you with appropriate songs already in their repertoire.

• Thinking about a public location or workplace? Please check first!  An employer may not be happy with interruptions in workflow (which also potentially affect your intended's relationship at work). A restaurant owner may have other entertainment occurring at the same time, might not want other patrons disturbed, or have overhead music running from speakers continuously in the venue.  (Have you ever tried to sing one song while a different song is blasting from the radio?  Not easy!)  The chosen location may require security or health clearance before entering. Someone else may have reserved your venue for another event.  Best practice is to check with management to ensure your plan will be allowed in their location (work, a public venue, hospital, even outdoor park pavilion, etc.)

• Planning for an outdoors surprise? This one is obvious, but folks often don't want to think about it. Even if your provider is willing to show up in inclement weather, there is no guarantee the person you want to honor is willing to come out in the rain, snow, ice, wind, severe heat to receive a "gift" they don't know about! There are safety concerns in some weather conditions (electrocution from lightning, ruining musician's gear, slipping on ice or wet surfaces, things flying in high winds). We need to consider a back-up plan for the same scheduled time near the location of your original choice. That way, the task can be carried out when you hoped it would be, even if the surroundings aren't exactly what you imagined.

• Assure a local contact. If you are hiring someone to provide service in a location when you will not be present (you are out of state, at work, away on vacation away, etc.), give your provider some alternate and on-site contacts who can help you carry off your surprise successfully. That person can get your provider through security, assure the intended recipient is where they are supposed to be when the event is scheduled, help troubleshoot emergency situations, and be your spokesperson when you are unreachable.

• Understand fees, terms, and cancellation clauses. Your provider will charge a fee. Likely the entire fee or a deposit will be expected up front. What happens if you need to cancel the date? What happens if your intended recipient can't be available per your plan? What if your provider has an emergency that keeps them from showing up? Discuss all these details up front. Once you pay for a service, you may not receive a refund (especially if the provider has been declining other work to hold your date or putting in creative hours to learn your music and customize a unique program).  

• It's not just 10 minutes!  Though someone might show up for $25-50, I say budget $150 or more, and consider a generous tip if your provider accomplishes the desired WOW (or better). Most providers use cash apps, like Venmo, to accept tips, so you don't have to be there.  Imagine all these considerations as you set your budget: For even a single song performance, your provider must block out the time you want them to show up.  That 10 minute commitment may require your provider to drive an hour or more round-trip, learn your favorite song(s) (30 minutes to hours or days), put in other creative time (customizing / rewriting song lyrics, arranging a medley with pieces of different songs, practicing the presentation, preparing keepsakes of the customized program), administrative time (consulting with clients about preferences, contracts, billing, and making sure things go as planned). There's also a risk for the provider to go to an unfamiliar location and knock on a stranger's door.  Finally, write a GREAT REVIEW on social media if your provider deserves  applause.  

• Outside the box or finishing touches: Consider a barbershop quartet, a singing guitarist, a musician who's at the piano in a venue (or would set up a portable), a non-singing option (harpist, violinist, accordion player, saxophonist, drummer, etc.)  Recreate your wedding on your anniversary with the songs from your ceremony.  Invite your musician to entertain in the background with meaningful songs during an intimate catered (or home cooked) meal.

There are so many ways (whether embarrassing, funny, clever, or sweet) to celebrate our loved ones!

Please comment and share your experiences!  I love feedback and interacting with my audience.  Have you already hired someone to do a singing telegram (or serenade)? What worked? What didn't? Was the recipient as pleased as you hoped they would be?

Have a question?  Feel free to connect.

Wishing you many happy, inspired, givings,

Paula C Snyder

**Footnote:  I had recently published a similar blog, but there were some technical glitches.  The old version has been removed from the site. This new version corrects the glitch and has some additional content.